Things you should remember before going to an arranged marriage meeting or on a first date

In Arranged alliances, the tension is too much! It's not a regular date where a girl and guy are meeting because of their will, but they are meeting because their parents want them to meet.

Tamil Bride

First thing first

Get rid of being shy around the opposite sex. You are not going on a date with a woman. This is an arranged marriage setup. Parents back at your home are waiting for an answer to move forward with the proposal or not. The least you could do is get rid of your shyness and open up.

Do not over-dress up. Do not wear an overpowering cologne. But do not look shabby either. Put a little bit of effort into how you look. Don't overdo it. It is okay to look like a guy next door and not a Bollywood hero.

Do your research on the girl you are meeting

The first and foremost thing which every guy should do before meeting a girl is do some small research on her. It barely takes a few seconds to google the person's name and surf through her Linked In, Facebook, Twitter and of course Quora accounts! Try to understand the person and consider what interesting topics you believe she would be interested in discussing. e.g. If you love WWF and the girl has no interest, she will be silent and nod her head when you talk about it in your first meeting. (This doesn't mean you should not talk about your passions or hobbies. If its something general and the other person is curious about knowing more about it, go on)

Don't ask questions as if you are going to marry her!

Questions that show you are too excited about marrying the girl in the first meeting can be a turn-off for some.

Example: I wouldn't like my wife to work after marriage. I hope you don't plan to work even after marriage (for god's sake! If the girl is ambitious, she may throw the hot coffee on your face. Instead, ask it in a better way, like, "What are your plans?" Try to assess and then decide if she is right for you. Note: If the girl likes you, she may consider sacrificing her ambitions (you never know!).

Forget that you are meeting a girl for marriage

I am sure when you meet a new female colleague at the office, you would have a normal conversation with her. It's the conscious feeling that you are meeting a girl who is could be your bride that ruins the flow of discssion. Be yourself and talk as you would talk to any other friend.

Don't brag about yourself, appreciate her as well.

It's good to talk about your achievements ( girls love listening to them) but don't brag too much. If you know the girl also has some achievements, give her credit too. Especially if the girl has low confidence, this can boost her confidence levels and she may open up. Paying decent compliments can also do the trick ( don't tell her she has a sexy ass, you may get beaten up).

It's ok to have silent moments

Most guys feel restless and uncomfortable when there are moments of silence. They go blank and they feel it's their responsibility to keep the conversation going on. Sometimes these silent moments can be sweet, you may exchange sweet smiles or glances and then move to another topic.

A pre-meet chat

If possible, have a small chat with the girl before you meet to gauge her. It could be a long or short conversation, but it will give you some ideas about the girl. She is aggressive, calm, shy, your type, not your type, and you can plan how you would like to keep the conversation going. Sometimes you won't even feel the need to meet her.

Make eye contact and read her body language

Eye contact is very essential when you are talking to a girl. Her body language will also give you clues about if she is enjoying the conversation or not.

Learn from your past experiences

If you screwed your last meeting with a girl, note what mistakes you made and try not to repeat them. If you did some / said some interesting stuff ( e.g cracked a joke which was an ice breaker), repeat it!